We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You made out with two different species that night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
