that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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