He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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