Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
