perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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