we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
