he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
