How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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