Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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