4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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