wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
