if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
