This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How does one acquire holy water?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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