I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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