well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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