I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize