you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
