I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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