I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
