it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
