the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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