just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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