see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
