she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
