OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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