Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize