Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
