I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Threesome in a minivan. New low
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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