and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
