oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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