I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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