rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
