nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize