I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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