Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
