question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
