Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
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I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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