someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
