I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
