He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
