if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
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He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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