Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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