We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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