Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize