I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
