if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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