In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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