if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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