I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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