if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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