so that wasnt chicken after all
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
