"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
