Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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