How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
