even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
