Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
