If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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