With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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