i would punch a child for taco bell
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
