It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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