Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
