I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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