what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize